The other day, I was talking to my Lady Banks.... No, not a character out of a romantic period novel, but my Lady Bank Roses. I'm always telling them how beautiful they are as they come into their full glory in the springtime. And by the way, yes, I not only talk to myself, I talk to my flowers and my butterflies, my squirrels and my birds. But this is good, really it it. And I'll tell you why.
I'm am discovering living in the present. Finally! After all these years. Wouldn't you think the joy that can come from living in the moment should come naturally? And why has it taken so long for me to get how important this is? Maybe it is because of my stage in life. I'm thinking it is probably not uncommon for people who finally reach retirement and beyond to be able to stop at some point, take a deep breath and be more attentive to what is around them. And it's true. Like most people, my life was crazy busy with family, work, caregiving for my parents. Yet I see all kinds of people, even young people, who seem to seize the moment. How did the ability to do that escape me?
It's easy to get caught up in "life" and forget to pause and savor the moments. We've all heard the saying "Are we having fun yet?" This is actually a good question to ask, because if not, why not? Have you ever looked back on a period of time in your life when you realized, wait, you know what? Those were actually good times, but for what ever reason you didn't recognize it as such then?
While there are many reasons why life may escape us, I'm currently making a conscious effort to try to figure out what my deal was. I remember it being hard for me to get excited about anything. If I did have "fun" I felt guilty. I didn't stop to smell any roses of any kind. My focus was work and family responsibilities and very little in between. And this mentality goes back many years. In fact, my husband and I didn't ever take time to have a honeymoon because we thought we had to get back to work.
As I reflect on it now, my no-nonsense, duty-bound view on life was self-imposed. Admittedly, a nose-to-the-grindstone philosophy was clearly reinforced in my belief system, but my application went way above and beyond. Maybe I am by nature predisposed to being dutiful. I remember when I was a teenager, even my mom telling me to lighten up...Can you believe that? Somehow, spirituality turned into diligence, obligation, abstinence and reticence. I concluded this life was temporary anyway. It was not the real thing. The world to come was what counted. So life passed me by. Or did it? No, it was there all around me. I just didn't slow down long enough to pay attention and then experience the pleasure and joy the little things that happen momentarily can bring. And to say this life was not the real thing.....nothing could be further from the truth. I'm not saying I never picked up on anything. But certainly not the way I wish I had.
Several years ago, I put a 50th birthday photo book together of the first 8 years of my firstborn daughter. During that time, her twin sisters were born. And for most of those years, we moved numerous times and lived in Canada and France. The memories were somewhat blurred and negative as a result of all the changes, learning a new language, adapting to new cultures. And because we lived so far away, I became very homesick and lonely. So I wrote pages and pages of letters to my parents. Of course, my dear mom kept every single one. So, I re-read the letters, thinking they might reveal a few memories I could add to the photo book.
And guess what? In spite of myself, I had captured dozens of precious moments of life. And I had to admit, we actually had some fun times. It was quite a family adventure and not all that bad.
It's not that there aren't enough memorable moments happening all around us. Many of us simply don't put on the brakes and take note. We forfeit the emotional and spiritual impact of the moments. As we rush through life, we may miss the little tear in the corner of someone's eye, a smile, a timid child needing a little encouragement, a friend masking heartache, a teenager hungering for praise, the beauty of a yellow rose or sunset,
As humans, we are hard-wired for connection, bestowed on us by our Creator. To pause and savor the moment gives it relevance and significance and connects us to those around us, especially those we love the most. 💖
